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Fri, Nov. 3rd, 2006, 04:26 pm
I was over it a year ago.

Im sick of cooking.
Im sick of being upset.
Im sick of court cases
Child support letters.
Im sick of being accused.
Im sick of my mother's friends.
Im sick of some of my own friends.
Im sick of missing my friends.
Im sick of being a child of divorced parents.
Im sick of people getting sick of me.
And lying.
Im sick of my best friends parents.
And my other best friend's sister.
I hate all of them.
Im sick of so many things, Its not possible to list them all.

Im sick of it not being about the music.

Fri, Nov. 3rd, 2006, 04:04 pm

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.

Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.

Tue, Feb. 21st, 2006, 01:50 pm


Sun, Feb. 19th, 2006, 06:50 pm
She will always live forever, Can you bear the burden?

Claire, if you read this, could you please PLEASE get in contact with me, asap.


I had a weird weekend.
Im happy though.
We're moving house soon.
We're going to rent.
I never ever picked my mum to rent.
She always said she wouldnt.
Oh well.
Ben and I are on speaking terms.
I went to his place twice this weekend.
We're getting on alot better.
Mum and him are basically back together.
But they wont be living together.
We're selling our place in Milton.
And getting Ben a shitbox house in Spring Hill (complete with squatters!!)
And we might buy,
But we might rent.
Inner city, thank god.

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Sun, Feb. 19th, 2006, 06:17 pm
She will always live forever, Can you bear the burden?

So I've had a pretty hectic weekend. Starting off with Friday's mega uber huge breakdown and me ending up blacking out and not remembering anything and apparently hitting my mum and I have a random deep cut on my arm and bruised (though there is fake tan over it now AHAHAHAH ewww). Anyways so we ended up picking up Josh from the city, me crying and mum getting cranky and whatever. We went to Benns house mum and I talked for a bit then Josh and I watch the beginning of Underworld Evolution on Benns computer and it was shitty so we gave up. Then we watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Ahhh great movie.
Then we went home and started watching Waynes World 2. "I like to think I have an EYE for detail!".
But we got tired and went to sleep :)
So yeah wake up around 11 ish hang around for a bit, Go to the city and see friends etc. Regular kind of stuff. Josh went home so he could go to work and then I ended up hanging out with Matt (who is just lovely) and we went to priceline and bought lollipops and I made a new friend! His name is Calum! and so he bought me a purse, it says "I love you" on it, so now Matt, Calum and I have matching purses!.
Umm yea, then I went home and ended up going to Benns again and just watched this really scary movie called "The Machinest" AHHH FUCKING HELL ITS SCARY! Then Josh called and talked to me until I went to bed:)
Then because Mum was out Benn went to pick her up and we were going to go back home but Mum fell asleep so I had to stay at Benns but it was ok because Mum and Benn slept on the couch ahahah and my sister and I slept in this massive bed but my sister left halfway through the night.
So yeah woke up today, watched Jarhead, its pretty good hey.
Then went home, walked the dog, got ready (TALKED TO IVY OMGGG<3 I MISSED HERR!)
Met Josh, Mitch, Lisa, Jaimie and Jase and we all sat downstairs in HJs for ages (except Mitch left us the bastard!) Jase was really sick from getting stoned and Lisa and I got mad at him ahaha. Then he had this gross infected surface piercing on his arm and I took it out because it was gross.
And yeah, looked around for semi outfits, found a lovely black skirt but that was it, and some stockings but its stil pretty far off, I just dont want to do what I usually do and leave everything till the last minute.
Hmm. Yeah, more hanging around. Went to allens also for ages and saw Alf and Ali and hung out with the homies there for awhile.
At about 5.30 I got home. And yeah. Now nothing.

That was my standard weekened.
Im looking forward to the gig on friday night.

Also, I just thought Id share the news that sometime soon Mum will be selling her house in Milton and we are moving, but still in the inner city (thank god!) but we're buying two houses, or at least, Benn is buying a dump in Spring Hill (COMPLETE WITH SQUATTERS!!! EWWW!!!) and we might rent. But whatever.

In other news, my Dad and I have had a massive fight and I wont be going there for awhile.
And my mum and Dad went to court on Friday and now Dad has to pay mum money again (which is good because I dont live with him but he needs to contribute and yeah dont worry about it) and so mums not as stressy and its pretty much good.

Thu, Feb. 16th, 2006, 07:36 pm

Do You think Oscar just wakes up every morning..
and is like

I want to BE BRIGHT EYES".


Or is it just me and Alex K.
(Random theory from a long while ago).
TheCollapse )

Thu, Feb. 16th, 2006, 07:35 pm

Do You think Oscar just wakes up every morning..
and is like

I want to BE BRIGHT EYES".


Or is it just me and Alex K.
(Random theory from a long while ago).
TheCollapse )

Tue, Feb. 7th, 2006, 04:32 pm
You Wont Understand Me. You Never Have.

And the voice inside my head is screaming at me
Telling me that things will be ok.

Part of me gives in

And pretends everything is ok.

The other part

the part that cares

wont let you go.

I wont ever let you leave me.

No matter what comes between us

I will always love you more

I love you Mathilde.


Im sick of my mother.

Constant Demands.

Her temper that is uncontrollable//insane.

Those who have witnessed it will understand.


I dont think anyone really understands me anymore.

I bet none of you know whats going on at home.

I hate pretending things are ok.

If you were wondering

My home life has been shit for ages.

Even with my stepdads absence,

I am afraid

Even to be in my own house.


In this current time of my life,

Im uncertain about almost everything;


School work.

My feelings.


Who I am.

What I want from life.




I want more of lifes simple pleasures.

Am I stupid?


Cry In The Night, If I Helps.Collapse )

Mon, Jan. 30th, 2006, 07:38 pm

So Um.
Today was pretty good.
I dont know.
Mumm found out about my tongue piercing.
So byebye piercing.
I didnt get in trouble.
I was late for school with Tilly.
Because we got them together
Cause thats how we roll.
And then we forgot to press the button at South Bank.
So we were even LATER for school than actually planned.
but we werent that late.
So all was good.

At lunch time Tilly made me fall over real hard
and I made her elbow bleed
and she made my wrist hurt.

After school Andrew told me about how this shithead has been giving him shit
Because hes an "Emo"
[Andrew isnt even fucking emo! He has black hair. And thats it.]
And so I was like
"Thats it.
So I went and yelled at him
I was all like
"Are you going to discriminate against me because of the clothes I wear, the way I dress, the way I wear my hair, the music I listen to? Do You even know what Emo really is? Or are you going off the Dolly definition of what Emo is?."
And he went
"You have weird hair. Are you emo? And are you like.. depressed..? Do you cut yourself?"
And I was like
"I dont label myself, YOU label ME into whatever catergory you want to, whether its GOTH or EMO, it doesnt matter, you are shallow and you do not know me. Do you even KNOW what depression fucking is? Its a goddamned mental illness. Do your research and THEN come and talk to me".
And then he said something else I cant remember
And I was all
"You want to know what depression is ILL FUCKING TELL YOU WHAT IT IS
I had depression ALL of fucking last year I bet you wouldnt have even picked it out if you knew me. I wanted to die, I didnt want to be the person who I was and I definately had no sense of self worth. I had an abusive stepdad and YOU CAN GET FUCKED"
And then I kinder turned away and I was like
"If he says one more thing Im gonna punch him right in the face"
and hes like
"Ill fucking smash that emo bitch"
And I turned around real quick and walked over to him and because he is up to my shoulder height I stood and looked down on him and Tilly was holding me back because she knew I was actually getting really fucking mad about it I said
"Say that to my face, BITCH"
And he looked at my shoes and went really quietly
"Fight.. 330... busway"
And then I started laughing SO hard.
And left school.

And then I went to the city with Cam and Finn [who is scared of me] and Jack and Tilly and Jordy Jordy and that was nice and then I found Danni and Jacinta and we walked up to HJS and I found Brent, Claire, Siobhan, Marz, Jes, ANDYYYYYY WHOS NEW PIERCING LOOKS PRETTY AWESOME!!!, And ummmm some others I cant really remember but then Dannie and Jacinta were getting all edgy so I suggested DDR and so Danni who is freaking cute as hell DDR'd with me and it was pretty awesome.
And then Siobhan and Claire came down and watched me and Danni DDR.
And then
Siobhan walked me to the bus and WE HELD HANDS♥
that was really cute.
Then I was on the bus and I called Joshuaaaaarghhhhhh and talked to him and then when I got home I called him and I went for a walk and called him and then He had to go to work until 10.30 so basically I am filling in time until I can talk to him again♥♥

I really really like him.
Im happy with how things turned out between us.

Its nice being back at school with all my cool friends who arent all
Sure I get abused at school
But I feel confident this year
Ive told a fair few people
I am NOT going to take shit from anyone
So my advice is DONT piss me off this year
Because Ive had this building up inside of me since Grade 8.
And I WILL go off at you.

Thanks for reading. If you do..

Sun, Jan. 29th, 2006, 03:24 pm



Kudos to Alex!!

Its been awhile.
As In.
A couple of days.
Since I last updated.
Here we go.

Friday. Schhool. Bad.
Gets on bus and goes to Scarborough aka Joshuaaaaaaarrr's house.
There was a big car smash outside his house and him and I were scared because we thought it could be his mum.
But it wasnt so it was ok.
We watched TV and talked and ate dinner and talked and watched Donnie Darko and fell asleep.
And I woke up next to him, yey♥
Thats seriously the nicest feeling in the world.

City on Saturday for a bit. Which was ok. I ate half a strip sub combo and i felt so sick I thought I was going to have a baby or some shit it was weird.
And yeah
Went home.
Blah blah blah.
Sunday I dyed my hair.
Sat on the computer.
Ate easy mac.

Seriously everyone ripped into me today! What is it, hate Lucy day?
I dont care.


And yeah.
I dont know.

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